The Acceptable Face of Drug Abuse

The term "drug abuse" tends to conjure up images of squalor and depravity; desperate people selling their last possessions and stealing more to get their next fix, neglecting themselves and their families in the pursuit of their particular addiction. In reality, few people who are addicted to drugs or who take drugs regularly actually live like this. Many drug users these days are actually wealthy professionals who take substances like cocaine and even heroin recreationally, believing that they can quit any time, while a increasing number of drug addicts probably don't even realise they are abusing drugs at all.

This latter group consists of the increasing number of people who are addicted to prescription drugs, usually painkillers or sleeping pills given to them by a doctor for health reasons. Many people can live happily and healthily while addicted to prescription drugs and will only realise that they have a problem when their prescriptions are stopped. In this case, some people resort to sourcing their drugs from elsewhere, often the internet. Not only is this expensive, but it is also dangerous; if you buy medicine from the net you have no idea what it really contains and no doctor is monitoring the effects that the tablets are having on your general health. You only need to consider the death of Michael Jackson, killed by a cocktail of perfectly legal drugs, to see how dangerous it could be to self-medicate because your GP has stopped prescribing the painkillers or sleeping pills you are addicted to.

Most doctors take sensible precautions to ensure their patients do not become addicted to prescription drugs, such as only dispensing a small number of pills at a time and demanding that the patient makes an appointment if they need more, but there are lots of people who genuinely need to take painkillers over a long period of time and can, accidentally, end up as unsuspecting drug addicts.

If you believe you might be addicted to prescription drugs or know someone who you suspect might be taking more medication than they need to, there are lots of organisations that can help. Prescription drug addiction is now recognised as being just as serious as other drug addictions and many people who have abused prescription drugs - or become addicted through no fault of their own - go to rehab clinics or take other non-addictive medications to help them deal with the withdrawal symptoms.

Addiction Recovery and Changing Character

When I write about the 12 Step Program, it brings many memories to mind. But the first thing that comes to mind is the first paragraph of Chapter 5 "How It Works." You will recall that is the paragraph that talks about rigorous honesty. I believe individuals are incredibly gifted at self deception. In the program they simply call that denial. But I think it has more to it than that. I can continue in my self-deception as long as I am willing to continue in the same patterns of behavior.

If you have ever dug into the history of Alcoholics Anonymous and have been so fortunate to have read some of the talks given by Dr. Bob, you will know that he often referred to the "four absolutes" which are; absolute honesty, absolute unselfishness, absolute purity, and absolute love. These he said were the standards or measures by which we should judge our own behavior. Accordingly, any of us who look at ourselves by these measures should realize just how far we have to go in our self-development. First we must accept a set of standards for our lives. This is a personal decision that requires a searching and fearless moral inventory. If you go to Webster's Dictionary and look up "moral," you will find this definition: "of or relating to principles of right and wrong." Listed also are the synonyms; virtuous, righteous, noble, ethical, and principled. Do I have a set of standards for my life? It is impossible to do any moral inventory without a standard of measure. So the first requirement is that I define what are the measures that I apply to my life and to my behavior?

The danger with misuse of spirituality in the 12 Step Program is that our spirituality becomes so subjective it becomes meaningless. Our culture and the addiction are so focused on what feels good instead of what is right. We often remind patients that if they do the right thing, the good feeling will follow. If we confuse our spirituality with what feels good instead of what's right, we have put our emphasis in the wrong place. The base word for religion in Latin means "to bind." If an individual does not "bind himself/herself " to these steps, recovery is impossible.

The inventory that individuals struggle with in their program, is simply the tip of the iceberg. Everyone knows that the vast majority of the iceberg is located under the surface, as is true with our individual character. We are not what we seem to be on the surface. So that first attempt at self-honesty which one is challenged with, is just the beginning of what "in theory" should be a new life. Yet how many really approach it that way?

The answer to that lies within the individual. The twelve step recovery program is the vehicle which we use in drug and alcohol treatment, and therefore should be the same method practiced by the staff. After all, we are the ones the patients first see and we espouse this approach to living. How well do we see that rigorous honesty being practiced in us? See, this personal inventory stuff, if done correctly gets pretty painful from the get go. Even after years of abstinence. So the first moral inventory usually is pretty superficial. But it is a beginning.

The next part, requires one to be willing to admit to God to ourselves and another person the exact nature of our wrongs. It has been my experience that we tend to put our attention on the "other person." When we do that the self-deception has raised its head again because I am taking the focus off of me and put it on another. There is a song which begins with this line, "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me." In order for me to be at peace with myself, I must do the things I respect. The self-deception must become my enemy and I must confront him/me daily. I have found great comfort and also accountability through the help of others. That makes the group so important, because others can give me feedback on my behaviors. In other words they can help me see me.

The AA/NA groups, when at their best, are the perfect place for this to happen. As I confront me and receive encouragement and reinforcement from others, I practice my new approach to assessing my life. I find new satisfaction because I am living in a different way. Others see it too. I find I am enjoying this new approach, I even begin to look forward to my participation.

When we become entirely ready to have God remove our defects of character this is just part of the process. After I have determined what character defects are controlling my behaviors, I have to be willing to have God remove them; especially the ones I enjoy and that serve me. Remember I am the problem.

So in the process I learn to work on me and leave the fault finding to God. After all, He is the most qualified teacher and I must be the humble student. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Addiction and Co-Dependent Family Members

Little did I know when I started my career as an LPN, that not only would I find my most rewarding nursing job, but my self-defeating behavior would be revealed that had a negative influence in my life and I would begin my recovery of co-dependency. This was a condition I didn't know I had until it was strongly suggested that I go to Al-anon. Shock was my immediate response. Me? Why me? It was everyone else in my family who needs to go to meetings and it wasn't Al-anon they needed! I was the responsible one. I was praying every night to be perfect and (with all my might) trying to fix each and everyone I came in contact with.

I loved my job and was so comfortable with the patients so...not wanting to tarnish my persona as a perfect employee, I went to Al-anon. I was very confused in the beginning. How in the world was I going to help my family or any of the patients if I was supposed to "let go and let God?" My understanding at this point in my life was that it was my job to get perfect and help everyone else, and then when I died, God would let me know how I did and if I passed or failed. The meetings were so mild...and no one was sharing what to do with these wonderful people who were using various chemicals and ruining their health and causing chaos in their lives. It was discouraging and I was not impressed. I was depressed for a long, long time.

The ray of hope for me was the glimpse of light I saw in two women at a meeting who were working an Al-anon program. One of them was living with a practicing alcoholic, yet radiated such peace and yes, serenity...I wanted some of that. If I had not experienced these two women, I shudder to think that I might have missed the boat and never found my program. This encouraged me to keep coming back. It did not happen over night. How sad to now see how cynical and mistrusting I was for so long. I continue to go to meetings today, to insure that a light may shine in me since I have developed a working relationship with a power greater than myself and that it might be an encouragement to someone else.

Untreated codependents and family members will continue to gravitate to relationships with people who have compulsive disorders. I did. If we don't reach out and get help to cope with the emotional pain we feel, our futures are predictive and bleak. We become alcoholics or addicts, die of stress related diseases, commit suicide or wind up on a psych ward as I did. Today, I share with the newcomers, that Al-anon has been my healthy parent. I have now learned how to have healthy relationships with family, friends and co-workers. The most important healthy relationship I have is with myself. Early on I had abandoned myself. I was addicted to people, places and things and anything outside myself to get the focus off me...as I did not feel worthy. Today I value myself...my decisions are based on, "Is this decision good for me?" I have learned and practice acts of humility such as prayer, going to meetings, calling my sponsor, reading Al-anon literature and it's like squirting my life with WD40. By the grace of God, a solution comes, or a state of acceptance replaces negativity and fear. I claim for myself, today, the promise in the AA Big Book that if I work the 12-Step program, I can be and I am happy, joyous and free!